| fuck fuck fuck fuck !!!!!!
i am gonnna have to do this again. i was recovered for like 8 months i was totally fine but no wi just started binge eating and i am getting fatter each day. so there's no other way but ana now. and i promise this time i will do everything to loose the weight. right now i am really scared to step on the scale cause i know i'd cry if i saw the numbers. all i know is that i am above 100 freakin pounds. i wanna get back to 90 !!! and i will. cause i can do this. from now on i'm gonna eat just veggies/ fruits and then i'm gonna fast for as long as possible. ANA HERE I COME !!! glad to be back
<33 just_another_na |
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| 87.5 !!!!!!  i'm so happy !! 4.5 pounds in just 2 days ! that's so awesome! i already feel thinner.i can see my hipbones again.i'm so glad to be back.i really missed ana. |
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| i'm at 89.5 right now.i just ate an apple & an orange yesterday.today i'm gonna eat just a few veggies.but i'm terrified of tommorow,cause i'm gonna go to the doctor!! |
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| i had such an emotianal breakdown today.don't know why.i feel so weird and confused ! okay so for the past few weeks i've been trying to gain.right now i'm at 92. but i CAN'T take it anymore.i'm gonna start loosing weight again.i thought i could do it but ana wants me back. i thought i could be normal again but....no such luck.i feel so so so faaaaat at 92 !!! 9 is such a big number !!! i wanna be in the 80's again and then 70's and then 60's.....i just don't know how to do all this without loosing my mom's trust again. "i'm sorry,mom but i just have to do it.ana needs me and i need her."
i'm going to the doctor on wednesday cause i haven't had my period for like 7 months so my mom wants me to do some blood tests and stuff....argh ! i hope it'll be ok.
i'm so excited to start being ana again !!! yay ! and by the way it's my 14th birthday today,yep on halloween.
stay strong girls ! much ana luv |
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| just a quick update: first of all thanx for the comments girls. it seems like i can't gain more weight.i eat like crazy,just trying to gain and the scale still says only 92.i'll probly have to give it more time. i'm going to orlando w/ my family today,cause there's 'halloween night' in universal.everyone says it's gonna be so cool and really scary.since i'm going w/ my family i'm probly gonna eat more than i do at home so maybe i will gain. |
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